Two lascivious beings slither through the slippery slop of snailish sensualities and hook up with the world around them. Staying with the slime, luxuriating in simultaneus touch, they bump up against impossible eco-erections and spill into promiscuous neo-molluscean relations. Using the viscid lovemaking of the snail as a blennofeminist model for queer romance, this performance studies the oozing eroticism of the Cornu Aspersum and addresses its gooey fleshiness through the human body. What pleasures arise when we embody slippery kinetics, oddkin coitions, turgid wetness?